How much do you really love me?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Dominatrix in training.

"Guess what! I bought a helmet." I pause a second and consider. "Now I can fall off my bike!"

Among my friends and family my clumsiness is legendary; I can walk into innocuous objects that have occupied the same place for years, fall over my own ballet-flat-shod feet. Only when glamazoning do I suddenly become all poise and swaybacked grace.

On the other end of the phone I can hear him dimple and roll his eyes. "Ride it, you mean." A text message codas our conversation and makes me smile: Ride it hard.

I'd like to be the kind of woman who can dress up in thigh-high fetish boots and stride about the house cracking a whip, all "Lick my boots!" and grinding long spiky nails into tender parts of flesh. Ot wear chaps with authority and smirk every time the cowboy boots made a public appearance. I just don't have it in me.

I'm more of a bat-my-eyelashes and won't you make me another cup of tea, the kind to crack up over the inherent silliness of Asian-made vibrators and men in supermarkets nervously eyeing zucchinis as though they might replace the male half of the human race.

Verbiage may be my biggest turnon; sparring, wordplay, a simple debate that gets swallowed up in kisses and teasing. Why am I writing this? Because sex is funny and fun. It's been so overwritten that it's overwrought and submerged in cliche. Have some foreplay instead. Go start a conversation.

15 comments:

  1. Hi,

    I was looking at your blog and I like it. I want to invite you to become my blog friend, and if you follow me, I will follow you...

    What do you think?

    I hope to hear from you soon.

    Jesse

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jesse, your generous offer has positively set my heart aflutter. I don't really do follow-me-and-I'll-follow-you-back, but gee, I'm just so tempted this time. Not.

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  3. you're such a great writer, it's a shame you're so rude

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  4. Dear Anonymous, I don't appreciate spammers and I don't choose to follow bloggers based on their willingness to reciprocate. If only you'd left me a name, I could decide whether to stay in touch with your writing. As it is, I'll happily accept the mantle of 'rude' bestowed upon my facetious reply to a paid troller who will doubtless never return to my blog again. If you enjoy what I write, I'm pleased and grateful. Thank you.

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  5. I'm most turned on by intelligence-words are the perfect aphrodisiac and you do it quite well!
    Writing and commenting here under my anonymous name yesterday, I mentioned you in my other blog and linked to the NSWF post, what does that stand for anyway! Love your writing.

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  6. Verbal sparring is a way of having sex. Some call it a prelude, but I think it's terrifically sexy. I've been having sex with Tessa's girlfriends that way for years. In broad daylight!

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  7. ...thank you for setting my mind at ease about the zucchini thing....

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  8. You're ruder to the commenters than you are in your writing. Shame on them for butting in on your self-love, shame on them.

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  9. In your posting, you pretend you're clumsy. But the real Ms. Jones -- the one who's a ballet dancer -- is grace personified.

    In your posting, you pretend you never could be a dominatrix. But the real Ms. Jones -- the one with beautiful, dark eyes -- can wear black, thigh-high boots and nothing else. She makes believers of us with just a flick of her whip.

    In your comment page, you pretend you respond to spammers and hecklers. But the real Ms. Jones is cultured and intelligent. She'd never lower herself to a spammer's and a heckler's level.

    *****

    Ignore the spammers, Elle. Ignore "Anonymous." The rest of us will love you all the more for it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rider jerks off reading your posts.

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  11. Blimey, what have you done to upset 'anonymous'? Anyway, verbal flirting is great fun. And you don't even need to be unfaithful to get some fun!

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  12. nice blogs, check out ours: http://sexfromacoupleinlove.blogspot.pt/

    ReplyDelete
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  14. First of all congratulations for the blog and for the article. I think that sometimes you have to let go with the eroticism and realize their erotic desires with someone who wants the same. There are many online dating fetish sites where people meet online fetish person where fulfill your erotic dreams with other people and I am very happy that these sites exist :-)

    ReplyDelete

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